I'm back. I was a little lost, but I'm back. It's been almost two years since I posted. In that time there have been so many changes.
Let's start with the hardest ... Mom. This was the first Christmas without Mom. Mom passed away in late October. She had struggled for most all of 2019 and I hope she has found peace. She leaves behind a husband and four daughters who are working to find their new way without her in their lives. I never knew how much I relied on her presence until she wasn't there. I miss, I regret, and I grieve.
And while I grieve for Mom, I also grieve for the time with my sisters. Over the past many years we have gathered as our own little family unit (sisters and parents only) to celebrate an early Christmas. And then over the past two years we had a Sister Retreat (staying at Mom and Dad's hotel) in the summer. With Mom's failing health, 2019 didn't include either of these. This special sister time has brought us closer, and I miss the companionship, comfort, and care of my three sisters.
There's a new relationship with Dad. He was Mom's primary care-giver for almost a year. I don't know how he did what he did. We are all still finding our way, but no-one more than Dad. And our new path will include solidifying relationships that relied on Mom to maintain ... both for us and for Dad.
There was work. Back in February 2018, I was laid off for the first time in my life. I had my real estate license and was still working for the company, but not as an employee. All of the sudden it was time to find a primary job and put the real estate on the back burner. This part has a very happy ending though! Timing was right, and after a few months I landed in a position that I love, for a company that I believe in.
Then I went back to school to get my Project Management certificate ... six months of night school, while learning a new job. And Mom gets worse. And I can't concentrate on anything besides what's in front of me at the moment. And I shut down. Not much sewing, crafting or reading for pleasure. Not much time for anything except worrying about family and building my new career.
After Mom passed away my sisters and Dad all had a sign ... something happened that brought them some peace. Something they could believe came from Mom. I didn't have anything tangible ... but I had a whisper in my heart. Mom was the one who always said she was proud of my drive, my optimism, and of the things I accomplished. And that whisper was telling me to get up and get started.
Today I say "Thank You" to the friends and family that have held me up. To those that have understood that I was lost and waited for me to find my way back. I say "Thank You" to Charlie for walking by my side through all of this messy life and helping to hold it all together for us.
So, after a two-year hiatus, I am back. And it's time to Change the World with One Good Deed Each Day.
